I don’t know about you, but some people just creep me out – it’s sad but true, and that doesn’t make me proud. Ever happened to you? When that happens I often creep myself out. I don’t want to be a mindless, illogical, reactive reptile, dominated by instincts and reactions. But being creeped out happens all too often.
Why do some people seem creepy to you and others don’t? Who are the people who are really creepy to you? Think back about who has really creeped you out recently. Are the people who creep you out different from each other, or do they have similarities? Do you secretly sometimes identify with them?
When I think about a trio of the weird, my mind goes to “The Big Lebowski,” the 1999 iconic movie of the weird, starring among many others, Jeff Bridges as the Dude, Walter Sobchak (John Goodman) and the Dude’s volatile rival, the criminally insane, aggressively evil, yet funny Latino, “the Jesus” played by John Turturro. The world of this trio is the bowling alley, which is their passion and environment.
Likability and “Creepability”
Actually, a lot of studies have been done in this area under the heading of the science of likability. Likability has always been a very strange phenomenon to me. Some people you meet you like everything about them. You like the way they look, the way they walk into a room, and you feel drawn to them. Other people you meet creep you out at first sight.
Why do some people like each other and others do not?
Why some people appeal to each other while others don’t is a very complex issue. You can be influenced by the line on a face or the shape of the body that causes you to respond favorably to a person or not. The theory of “vibes” humans beings emit is also very important.
The theory says, and I believe it, that everyone gives off some strange interpersonal energy that appeals to some people but not to others. That’s why not everyone gets along with each other, but most people get along with someone. The old saying is correct, generally speaking, that “there is someone for everyone.”
Types That like Each Other and Types That Don’t
Type theory can also say a lot about who is likely to bond and who is likely to creep each other out. Some types have more affinity to all of the other 16 personality types. Some have a much more narrow range of ability to be likable. Some personality types bond with each other in specific industries, which means they’re drawn to each other and get along better.
Personality type this personality type doesn’t like
How this personality type can best fit in
The ISTJ is drawn to personality types that support order, accuracy, and consistency, and upholding proven ways that organizations have worked in the past and have been successful. Not shockingly, this will often be other ISTJ’s. The ISTJ will often work well with ESJF’S, who focus on available resources and predictable outcomes. They can often form very successful alliances with ISFJ’S, ISFP’S, and other types that care about tradition and taking care of people. In their personal lives ISTJ’s may form relationships with numerous other types different from themselves in an effort to take care of them with a steady hand.
The ISTJ doesn’t like working with types that seem to destroy the regular routine of predictability. They distrust those who tend not to work on standard operating procedures – destroying the sense of sanity and order. This might include the ENFP who loves inexplicable change, the ESTP, who believe in standard operating procedures are not fun, as well as the NT’S that have plans of world domination that require different strategy every day. They are geared toward preservation and normally avoid risk. Even in great alliances with entrepreneurial types, both they and the ISTJ may develop a relationship of trust, but there will always be a certain level of discomfort between them.
ISTJ’S are always found in important roles in organizations. If they are good at their work, team members gravitate toward them as stable rocks of the organization. They exude an air of confidence in time of trouble and are always popular in that they keep the records and produce the numbers that organizations need.
The ISTJ should work in contexts where there is little ambiguity, or with change agents they trust.
The ISFJ will be drawn to personality types who support them as a person of deep feelings, committed to taking care for others. Because of this they are often drawn to professions such as healthcare, education, and religious work. They can relate to personality types who may be quite different from themselves, such as STJ’s and NT’s, as well as other types, as long as these types provide an environment in which the ISJF can do his or her work.
The ISFJ will not relate well in situations where outcome driven types, NT’s, SJ’s, sacrifice outcome over human needs.
The ISFJ is best suited in roles that give him or her a stable environment in which they can be engaged in activities that allow them to help others.
The INFJ is possibly the most visionary of all the personality types. They tend to be intelligent, inner directed, with surprising capabilities in medicine, health sciences, and in technology. This type will be attracted to the INTJ, INFP, and all the types that tend to sustain an inward vision.
The INFJ will not be attracted to types that tend toward promotion, especially self-promotion, which can include the ESTP, the ESTJ, and the ENTJ. The INFJ can be successful with any type that does not dilute their vision.
The INFJ is often best suited to professional roles such as medicine, religion, and sometimes science and technology. The INFJ is often extremely idealistic and cause oriented and can lead groups in accomplishing a goal involving justice, civil rights, and righting of wrongs. They can handle these roles magnificently.
The INTJ tends to be a brainy type that deals with complicated models inside his or her head. He or she can be attracted to organizationally competent ENTJ’s, technically competent ENTP’s, promotionally able ESTP’S—types who may help them in their quest to put ideas to work. The INTJ is often a very skilled presenter, teacher and academic.
The INTJ seldom has an interest in long-term plans and strategies, and will resist being placed in roles of project management, or roles that he or she may consider prosaic and pedantic. He or she will often be impatient in leading groups. The INTJ is often seen as a brilliant individual performer, who does not like to be prodded or prod others. ENTJ’s, ISTJ’S, ESTJ’S, and other results driven types may be frustrated by the INTJ and he or she with them. The exception to this is the INTJ entrepreneur, who is often successful in running an early stage company.
The INTJ often makes great contributions if he or she is able to devote a great deal of concept time to develop an idea or initiative. INTJ’s, such as Einsteinfound hiding places in government jobs that allow them to develop their own agenda. It is in those roles where the INTJ is most happy and productive.
The ISTP would enjoy working with types who work on the solution of specific problems. They work well in outcome oriented troubleshooting settings with types such as other ISTP’s, ESTP’s, and ENTP’S. Since the ISTP enjoys being a part of teams and is often attracted to mechanical tools and processes, the ISTP is often drawn to other Perceiving types who have expertise in handling developing situations such as repairs, mechanical crises, public relations situations that are difficult, and many things that required rapid analysis and action.
The ISTP is most often horrified by bureaucracy and chains of command. For this reason they can often clash with the ISTJs, ESTJs, and types who live by enforcing standard operating procedures. They detest rigid hierarchies. They enjoy egalitarian groups where teams work together on an equal footing, solving problems and managing crises.
The ISTP operates best within a team of people who experience a great deal of camaraderie, where hierarchy is often disliked. The ISTP will appreciate types with a quick wit and an appreciation for their masterful problem-solving abilities.
The ISFP is characterized by a sense of artful caring. They are drawn to all personality types who have a love for their art and respond to their caring natures. They have an affinity for ESFJ’s, ISFJ’s, and other personality types who have a gentler, kinder approach to life.
The ISFP will not be drawn to many of the NT and SJ types who are tied to outcomes, limiting resources, and imposing deadlines.
The ISFP will function best in a caring environment such as the hospital industry, religious institutions, and cooperatives of people who join themselves together for a specific purpose. They will feel more loyalty to their own vision and direction than they will to the routines of the organization.
The INFP is a personality type that can be not only intelligent, but ingenious in their ability to solve problems and devise solutions. More than any other type they have a personal vision of their own and march to their own music. They are often drawn to outcome oriented types such as ENTJ’s, ESTJ’s, ENTP’S, INTJ’S, and types who have an outward goal directed vision. At the same time if these types try to make the INFP “a cog in the wheel,” the INFP disappear into the night. Whatever the personality. It they must allow the INFP space in which to operate.
The INFP will gladly contribute their talents to a group or to a person, but always on their own terms as to when, where and how they work. They can often surprise the outcome driven types (ENTJ, ESTJ,ISTJ) by assuming that INFP will respond to the same rewards system of money and perks. When this occurs the INFP disappears without explanation.
They’re unlikely to work in hierarchy and remain engaged in projects only as long as those projects are compatible with their own private vision. That vision can change and the INFP does not feel disloyal because they follow their own vision as opposed to the organizational redirection. They’re unlikely to ” fall on their own swords” because of the requirements of the organization.
The INFP often has a sense of great artistry and are good at technology, as it fits into their own interests. INFP’S often have a great sense of art and design. The INFP is best seen as working as an individual contributor or as a specialty member of the team where they make their own particular contribution.
The INTP is a personality type that has a bent toward evaluation, inspection, and monitoring for efficiency. They are often drawn to systems people such as the INTJ, ENTP, ISFP, or the technical minded types. They will see their roles as making sure that this system functions because it lacks flaws and internal contradictions.
The INTP is often unconcerned with how the organization as a whole works, and are fascinated by the details of the organization. They are polar opposites with the outcome oriented ENTJ, and will shrug aside deadlines and organizational plans as they see fit. However, I know many INTPs who do not fit the mold. It is my observation that the INTP is the second most numerous member of the type community, second only to the ENFP.
The INTP may not be welcome in a team type such as INTJ’S, ENTP’S, and others who are working in the beginning phases of developing a product or service. Instead of seeing a work in progress, the INTP may see a mass of flaws. The INTP can be very effective at leading teams that inspect for flaws, evaluate risks, and inspect for functionality these types might be NT’S, SJ’S, and SP’s, who drive the project toward completion. These types must be very open to the need for a person who may see the need to backup and take another look.
The ESTP enjoys personality types that are adept at performing in crisis and accomplishing actions based on their competence and ability. These will be other Perceivers, as well as those who admire those who perform well under pressure to achieve daring outcomes.
The ESTP will often not like personality types such as the ISTJ, ESTP, ENTJ, and other types that enforce deadlines and require great amounts of regular reporting. The ESTP will quickly become bored with the theorizing INTJ or ENTJ.
The ESTP will do best with personality types that form teams of easy affiliation that react well in times of crisis and opportunity. The ESTP does well in settings such as police and fire and in emergency health services. The ESTP can be an excellent spokesperson in times of crisis and an entrepreneur.
The ESFP would enjoy personality types that understand the need for someone who manages teams through organization and strong social skills. The ESFP works well with the outcome oriented NT, SJ, and STP types who understand the need to have someone organizing those who are engaged in getting the outcome.
The ESFP will react negatively to personality types that demand an overly serious work environment and do not appreciate humor and goodwill. These may include any of the NT are SJ types who believe that work is serious and that there is little or no room for friendship and humor in the workplace.
The ESFP will work well with personality types who are looking for specific outcomes and appreciate the ESFP’s ability to handle people and details within a caring and social context.
The ENFP genuinely enjoys working with most personality types who appreciate their charm, social skills, and their ability to lead people in new directions that require change. NT’s and ENFPs often form valuable alliances because the ENFP can translate the need for change in the workforce in a way that helps people to get on board.
The ENFP will not like to be micromanaged, nor will they accept ideas and initiatives they feel they had no part devising. They react negatively to NT’s who demand a rigorous attention to details and intricate reporting requirements. They are often averse to systems that are highly theoretical. The ENFP will often not like types such as the ISTJ or the ESTJ who can be obstructionist toward new ideas.
The ENFP does well in organizational situations where they are asked to lead change. They also have an ability to have a comforting effect on the organization. They’re especially good in situations where they can bring calm and comfort in difficult situations.
ENTP’s are excellent spokespeople who are drawn to media and broadcasting and generally communicate well with virtually all the personality types. As people who have a natural talent for technology, they’re drawn to INTP’S, ISTP’S, and others who are drawn to the world code and programming. They are also drawn to law and litigation.
ENTP’s are famously in- the-moment performers and may not do well with NT’s and SJ’s who hold closely to deadlines and milestones.
ENTP’s perform best in settings where they can showcase their personal brilliance, such as in broadcasting, litigation, high-tech systems, and other skill-based professions.
ESTJs will most often be drawn to other ESTJ’s, ISTJ’s, ESTP’s, ISTP’s, and NT’s who have moved beyond the planning stage to implementation. The ESTJ is one of the most powerfully outcome oriented people in organizations, and they have an internal tractor beam set to find the shortest distance between two points. Theory and feelings, in the mind of the ESTJ will slow down any process where there is a timeline our deadline.
The ESTJ can often become first impatient, then bored, and finally hostile to intricate explications theory and strategy that they mistrust as taking up too much time. The ENTJ, INTJ, and other strategic and theoretical types can be seen as boring barriers to getting things done. Why something gets done as opposed to how it gets done can have a diminished importance to the ESTJ.
The ESTJ functions best in an industry where standard operating procedures are well established and the people and resources to accomplish objectives are clearly explained and mandated. The ESTJ can be quite happy carrying out the implementation phases of a complex strategy as long as the ESTJ’s plans and processes are well established..
The ESFJ may be the most capable and talented person in organizing people’s activities within the organization. They will be drawn to, organizations that are structured with clear outcomes, with a strong sense of civility. They can be drawn to the ESTJ, ISTJ or any other types who like to clearly define the systems they work in.
ESFJ’s may find the creative types such as INFP’s, the strategy types such as ENTJ’s, and the theoretical types such as INTJ’s to be a real headache. They can also be very put off by the impromptu style of the SP’s.
The ESFJ most often finds a key role to play within organizations, especially if they are intelligent and know how to find direction. The ESFJ will be popular and sought after in situations where complex, tactical goals are in critical demand for people who can manage them. The greatest danger for the ESFJ is that as the project progresses and strategic thinking skills are needed, the ESFJ may be edged out.
A healthy and well developed ENFJ personality has the potential of getting along and interrelating well with all of the personality types. The ENFJ is blessed with the ability to read groups in an eerily effective way and to relate to the concerns of individuals. They are gifted in facilitating groups, and roles of teaching and coaching individuals. They are further blessed by having highly developed technical skills and the ability to handle great masses of details.
The ENFJ can have clashes with personality types who are extremely expedient and averse to learning and growing. A healthy ENFJ has a passion for learning and growing. The ENFJ may be considerably better at facilitating a group than actually coming up with solutions to difficult issues. With their aversion to conflict, they may find it difficult to move up in an organization. An underdeveloped ENFJ will also often find themselves pigeonholed in junior administrative positions. They may be viewed as being able to go only so far.
The ENFJ is blessed with the ability to fill many important roles within organizations, and excel in teaching, training, research and development, as well as in all human skills of teambuilding and conflict resolution. Their genius is in their intuition about the dynamics of the group, and they often save organizations from huge mistakes.They thrive in areas where they can help to bring clarity and harmony.
The ENTJ, as a person who believes in outcomes over people and their feelings, works best with a variety of personality types that depend on the ENTJ to work with organizations that need bold strategies involving opportunity and risk, and crises to avert and avoid. Within that context, they can work with a wide variety of personality types who believe that the moment requires decisive action.
The ENTJ is the ideal personality type to creep out other types because of their willingness to go beyond all boundaries, and group feelings, to accomplish the goal at hand. In situations where groups perceive that the status quo will work well, and that risk should be avoided, the ENTJ can cause huge, negative reactions. They are famous for winning the battle and losing the war.
The ENTJ is the personality type most driven toward outcomes, and must be deployed in situations that demand outcomes. The ENTJ is often best deployed in situations where he or she can remain somewhat in the background and have kinder gentler souls to deliver the message.